urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:erinkitty Enjoy Your Stay :-) Blarg 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:erinkitty:213192 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z Currently I'm rocking the philosophical wisdom that only wine night can bring, so what better time to do a live journal post?<br /><br />Ok, so I have a dear friend who just got engaged with no impending or post-pending (is that even a word? prolly not) due date, a few going through the whole mortgage thing, a spattering of those going through getting/contemplating their masters degrees/PhD's, in general getting a let up in the world of adulthood ...and here I am. It's like I'm stuck in little kid land but with a job that I can't just call out of if I feel like it. It's like the worst of both worlds. I can't see a future in either one of them, and yet here I am trudging through everyday, just trying for a little amusement or distraction along the way and only getting frustration from that too. I know it could be so much worse and I'm grateful for what I have. I could easily list three things I'm greatful for today, so I suppose by Oprah's standards I'm doing ok, but I still feel like there's just this thing I"m missing and I don't know what it is or how to find it or anything...I suppose it could be fulfillment, which is something notoriously hard to get. Those who are so sure of themselves can wake up one day and realize that their path somehow took them past that stop on the road and while their trying to get back to it they leave their wives and kids and just in general make a mess of things.<br /><br />Geeze, I sound so pathetic. This whole early-life crisis thing is so full of shit but at the same time so real and so happening to me that I can't ignore it. It's pathetic really. This whole malaise that has taken over so much of my generation...arg. But in the mean time, between now and what I hope to do/accomplish I'll just put on a distraction, go to sleep, and get up in the morning to restart the whole daily process that is being in between worlds. It's more exhausting than it sounds, but at least I have time to work out.